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From all to nothing

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Embarrassed, I clear my throat. "Of course." Considering how horny I was, it's a minor miracle I didn't come before I got the trousers off. I grin at you. "What's my prize?"

"To begin with," you say with a big smile, "you have the honour of getting rid of that mess and get me some tissue or something."

I sigh, stand up with a groan, grab the trousers and keep them on my thighs as I lurch to the kitchen. I wipe the leg, rinse my hands under the tap and bring a roll of tissue for you.

You wipe yourself and look at me. "Feel better now?"

I look at you with big eyes, nod mutely. Exhausted, blown away, both mentally, physically and emotionally.

"Good." You study me, and look like you reach a decision. "Think you can keep yourself under control now?"

I nod again. Still don't understand anything. You take a couple of steps towards me. Stand naked, slightly sweaty in front of me. Your nipples have relaxed. You look into my eyes, take the last step separating us. Lay your arms around my back, pinning mine against my sides. I feel my knob dangle against the edge of my t-shirt, feel it press against your pubic hair. Feel me begin to stiffen again. I don't move. You hold me, look into my eyes, form a pout with your lips. I bend my neck and kiss your lips lightly. Straighten myself. Smile.

You stand naked in front of me, your body pressed against mine, and it's with an effort I refrain from exploring our body with my hands. But I said I could keep myself under control. You are in charge. Still. Always. I take a deep breath of your scent - spicy, female, intoxicating.

You release me and caress my face, with the back of the fingers that brought you an orgasm. Move your fingertips over my lips, let them rest there. I want to open my mouth and taste, but I don't dare. I smell you. You look at me somberly, for a long time.

I am getting stiff. I press against your hair, your mound. You lean backards, look down between your breasts. See me grow against you. You smile and take a step backwards. Your smile grows bigger as you see it rise up towards you. Shake your head at it. Look up at me and wink.

You turn around and my eyes follow your hips. You pick up your t-shirt and pull it over your head. Look down, as if judging the length. Halfway down your thighs. Enough, apparently, as you walk out on the balcony again without picking up any other garments. I hurry with my trousers, squeeze the cock in and button up. Take the wine bottle and follow you.

You're sitting on your chair, a lit cigarette between your fingers, your glass in the other hand. You have put one leg over the other. I take a cigarette, light it, inhale deeply and rest my arms on the banister. Look out over the lake. Try to think, understand.

I haven't had sex with you. I still haven't touched your breasts or pussy, not licked your lips, not... I shake my head. The only thing I've done with you is see you naked. Formally speaking. Seen you naked, not touched you. But it feels like you've fucked my brains out. And you did, you did fuck my brains. Fucked me witless without touching me. I was embarrassed when I began pulling. Not you. You were in control, all the time. Decided what happened. And I could but follow.

I draw on the cigarette and strain the smoke out between my teeth. You made hornier than I can remeber ever being before, teased me... And controlled me. I smile. So that's what made you horny.

I turn around, look at you. You are looking out over the lake, but turn your face to me and give me a little smile. You sink down in the chair. Lift your leg. Open your thighs. Let me catch a glimpse. For a moment, before you cross your legs again.

You bend forward, stub the cigarette out in the ashtray, take a sip of wine. I shake my head, for what time this evening I do not know, and smile. Fill up your glass and sit down.

Later, much later, I lie awake on the couch waiting for the room to stop spinning around. My thoughts are spinning too, around you, your body, and your soul. They spin around two very different things - what is, and what could have been.

If I listen closely, I can hear your slow breaths from the bedroom, and in the end that's what lulls me into sleep



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