From all to nothing
A C E G I
All on one page
Now. Now your eyes close slightly. Now your head begins to tilt. Now I feel your body press against mine. Now. Now I'm afraid. I'm lost - I want to kiss you, and I'm terrified of what it would mean. I don't want to risk what we have. I don't want to risk losing you. But I'm held by the story. I have to follow the script.
Somewhere in the distance I sense how your body touches mine, how your hands meet on my back, how mine meet on yours. I feel your bra through your t-shirt, the hooks holding it together underneath my fingers. Now I smile inwards and pinch the hooks.
Your eyes open in surprise, and I see you were just as spellbound as I. You release me and take a small step back. After a moment of confusion you smile mischievously.
"Okay, so we're gonna keep working down on the list, you think?"
I don't understand. You pull the left shoulderstrap out from under the sleeve and over your arm. Oh. Now I remember what the next item was. You repeat the procedure with the right strap, and pull the bra out from underneath you t-shirt.
"Here, hold this for a moment," you say and hand me the black garment. Silently I accept it. Through the t-shirt I can see your breasts sagging slightly, without support. I stand there, trying to recover from my confusion, while you sit down, pull your socks of and hand them to me.
"There," you smile, "now I've taken half my clothes off. Do you want me to get rid of the last three garments?"
I sit down and put your clothes in my lap. Light a cigarette, take a mouthful of wine and swallow. Take a puff and hold out my hand with the cigarette beteen my first and second fingers. The smoke whirls with my shakes. You look at it an laugh.
"You're so cute when you're afraid."
"Mm." I take another puff. "Are you serious?"
"As much as you. Last chance. What do you say?"
Copyright Örjan Westin 2002, 2005